Usually

so planned, plotted, and parsed I find my holiday to be serendipitous, impulsive, and ephemeral.

Oh, I might need to buy bottled water tomorrow. That is the one big plan. Smaller plan: read one book every day. Otherwise...

So far south is better than north. All the southern adventures have been satisfying; the northern ones not. Example: this morning I went north to the Aquarium. Bought a ticket. Took a bus to the dolphin thing, but the dolphin thing was a movie exhibit. Some kid movie, never heard of it and why would I, I don't watch movies. Did get a nice trolley ride across the harbor into Clearwater and an interesting ramble from the driver. So the "Church" of Scientology owns over 69% of Clearwater. Lots of tidy buildings.

Didn't that "Church" start as a joke? As a way to make money? An irony? Yeah, pretty sure it did. Well, that's America for you.

No dolphins at the end of the tour, just props from the movie of which I had not heard. 5 min later I'm back on the trolley, back to the Aquarium. Once there I saw a few manta rays and 3 injured dolphins. 5 min later I'm headed back south.

Stopped at the other Mexican restaurant. Yesterday was all cheesy tomato soup bean mush at a fancy place. Professional wait-staff and blasting Mex music. Today was wild teens and make it right there in front of you burritos, etc. I bought a big bag of dried chipotle peppers to bring home, $2.99. Had a delish tofu burrito.

Stopped at a nature reserve. It was so quiet. I walked on a boardwalk. Geckos scurried. It was swampy.

Went to a beach and hung there all afternoon. Watched pelicans soar, plop, gather, take off, and repeat. Do they sleep? Dolphins don't, according to a woman at the Aquarium this morning. She has a bachelor's degree in marine biology, and dolphins don't sleep. They would die if they slept; they have to breathe. They have 2 sides to their brains (don't we all?) and switch back and forth (don't we all?).

Anyway. That beach was relatively deserted.

The north beach is wall to wall people. Chairs, tents, and umbrellas are neatly arranged. You may rent a space and sit elbow to elbow with your new best temporary friends. There are boat rides, parasailing, drinks, and snacks.

Tomorrow I'm going south. The teen Mex place, the bird sanctuary, and the deserted beach.

I will be spontaneous, I will explore, I will enjoy wild nature.

colors

Apricot to burnt-orange. The sun dropped into the ocean behind the rustling palm trees. The waves kept coming, making that soothing shushing noise.

I sat on the narrow balcony and watched the colors. Watched the sea birds. Listened to the kids in the pool.

A little chilly in my flip flops and summer dress, I threw on a fleece jacket. Watched the colors fade into black. Venus appeared. 

bird sanctuary

Went to a bird sanctuary. How do pelicans get injured?

I watched them soar today, as I sat on the beach. They glide inches over the water with strength and grace. they go all over the bay, way faster than the boats. They slide down onto the surface and bob there, sometimes solo, sometimes in groups.

At the sanctuary, they can't fly. They waddle, clack their long pinky-orange beaks, and flap. No gliding, no sliding. They must wonder why they can't do that anymore. They eat, bathe, flap to dry, then nap. Their wings are broken. How does that happen?

I saw a baby, born yesterday, on Thanksgiving. Mom was sitting on a stick nest with two big eggs and a purplish squirming baby.

I saw white pelicans, wing span 9 feet.

I saw owls, blue jays, gulls, and vultures. All injured, all being cared for by dedicated and compassionate volunteers. 

my vacation

Last night I was convinced the hotel was burning down. I jumped out of bed, dressed and packed. Heart thumping. Listened for sirens. Nothing. Looked out in the hall, sniffed. Nothing. Wait a minute. Maybe someone was burning popcorn. Maybe it was heater I turned on 2 minutes before the panic. Yeah, it was the heater.

On the plane I sat beside a handsome young man in a white shirt. Italian. A pilot for the airlines. "So if it's turbulent, and you're ok, we're ok, right?" I asked him.

"Right!" His wife was a forensic scientist for the LA police. The LA in California, not our LA Maine.

"Ever see a UFO?" I asked him. He was so kind; smiled at all my questions even though he probably hears them every day.

"My mother-in-law is convinced that I have but I won't tell her. Hey, if I saw one, everyone on the plane would see it too. No, I have not seen one." No kids, but they're trying. She's Italian too, so obviously gorgeous and fashionable in addition to being smart and functional.

So when it got turbulent, "Oh, the pilot said it would be gassy," he said, it got embarrassing. I guess gassy is a pilot term for dropping 100 feet like a roller coaster. Then bumping like a bus on a dirt road in spring. Embarrassing because I felt sweat dripping down my face. My hands dripped too. I grabbed for the barf bag. "Are you Ok?" he asked solicitously.  Obviously not, and he kept talking to me gently, asking me innocuous questions, and generally trying to distract me from the barf bag. I didn't hurl, but it was close.

At the car rental place they quoted me $40 over my deal. I questioned and they knocked it back. This was after a 45 minute wait. I thought the customers might mutiny. "No cars," they told us. How can there be no cars when we reserved them months ago? "You might have to sleep here," they told us.

I hate driving on bridges. I had to drive on a long bridge, a causeway they called it. It was dark, couldn't tell I was on a bridge, so I was fine.

I had to drive through a rotary. I hate rotaries. People always honk at me in rotaries. What's up with that?

I had the GPS, but still. The first time through the rotary I ended up in a marina and had to go back and start again. Second time found some nice restaurants. Third time I managed to exit in the right place and actually found my hotel. It was a 13 hour trip with much anxiety and near-hurling, so it was good to get here.

I took a shower and sat on the narrow balcony. Drank water. I could hear ocean waves and see a dim outline of palm trees. The burning thing, fear of fire, didn't sleep well. Got up to pee a lot. Tried to conserve water, so didn't flush. In the morning I flushed. It stuck. A clog. omg, how embarrassing. I used the ice bucket to dump water into the toilet, hoping it would flush. I filled it to the brim: no luck.

I walked to a convenience store and bought bottles of drinking water. $2 for 6 big bottles. Wow, $3 a bottle at the airport. What a rip, those airport prices.

More ice bucket action, no result.

Left a big tip for the chambermaid and set off exploring. When I got back, hours later, the toilet was still clogged. Well, this is awkward. More ice bucket dumpage. No success.

Hit the beach with sunglasses, new coverup, and good book.

Hours later got back to room. Toilet fixed, lovely! Thank you wonderful hotel people! I really need to chill. I need to stop worrying. I guess that's the point of a vacation.

guilt and cancer

Everyone agreed with me last night at the Reiki event: it's not OK to tell a person that guilt caused his/her cancer.

Especially when you just met this person. Especially when I'm providing a brief explanation of Reiki and encouraging people with cancer to try it. Especially when Reiki practitioners are committed to supporting each person's own individual cancer journey. Even though you read it in a Louise Hay book, and we all respect Louise Hay; it's not Ok.

Whew. Little rant there. Thanks for reading and putting up with me.

change in an instant

Yes, life can change in an instant.

Treasure those moments of love and connection. Tell loved ones how much you love them.

So glad my dear friend B is OK after 3 car accidents last night. Blizzard conditions driving home from a concert. So glad you're OK, sorry your car isn't. Am sure H will be fine, but keep an eye on him. Love you, dear friend.

And other concerning news, health issues for a dear relative. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Rest and be well. Love you.

And yes, in this season of celebration and family love... remember that life can change in an instant. Grieve when you need to. Lean on your friends. And then, when you can:

Tune in to joy. Dance, hug, cry, laugh, and love.

wind power

You know how sometimes people protest wind power towers? Say they're unsightly, etc... you know?

Well, driving and thinking, what about regular power lines? How ugly are those? Way.

And cell phone towers: everywhere. Ugly.

So stick some wind blades on the cell towers, on the power lines. Stick solar panels up there while you're at it.

Natural power. Leave the oil in the ground. Stop fracking and coal: pollution and destruction. Turn to wind and sun.

Thank you.

created by Nel Bernard

sculpted in marble

don't have time for that

It was summer. Hot. The door was open, the setting sunlight shone on her through the open door. It was my time. I felt it.

Walked in to the salon and had the best haircut in 5 years. Everyone said so.

I hate getting my hair cut; but she was fast, cheap, and good.

She had pink hair and we talked about when she took care of her grandmother as she died. I probably reminded her of her grandmother. We talked about angels.  I found a fab hair person.

This week, with much giddy anticipation I made an appointment for a trim. Finally the day was here, here! Haircut!

I arrived several minutes early. OK, 20 minutes early. Settled into the leopard print banquette with my smartphone and relaxed: read newspaper, emails, and spiritual journal. Checked the time every 10 minutes, glanced at my stylist as she worked on the head of a platinum blonde. Almost done? Surely they were almost done. Wash, cut, pile on top, dry, fluff, straighten, smooth, omg how long is this going to take? Kept reading, kept glancing. It's my time! Are you done? Almost done? It's my turn!

Minutes ticked by. I got restless. 5 minutes, 10, 11. My hands went to my keys, to my coat. I put on my coat. The owner looked around, "Oh."

"I'll come another time," I said.

"Want to make another appointment right now?"

"I'll call," I said. "Maybe," I thought, and left. 

winter

is here. The sun starts to set around 4, and it's dark at 4:30. A fleece isn't enough: one needs a winter jacket, puffy. Gloves and a scarf.

It snowed last weekend. We got a dusting, others got more.

Really need to go pick those last beets, and roast them. The kale will be OK. I can pick it all winter. Amazing stuff.

Snowshoes, skiis, snowmobiles. Ice skating, ice fishing, icicles. Winter wind, storms, light. Shovels, snowplows, salt.

Every fall I hope winter will forget to come.

sunset

was beautiful. Gold streaks of light behind gold leaves.

At 4:11 pm. 

light

Is it more light or different light?

Sun was rising, so I did too, this morning. Way early for work, so I did yoga with Rodney Yee DVD.

Was getting dark as I drove home. Venus lit my way.

power struggle

When religious leaders object to Reiki... is it a power struggle? Do religious leaders fear people accessing spirit directly? Do we need intermediaries to access spirit?

Big churches are powerful: financially and politically. Do they fear losing that power? They work hard to keep their power, and amass more. They say we must go through a priest or minister to access God. I'm leaving out rabbis, temples, mullahs, and mosques here- because I don't know of objections to Reiki from those people and places.

Does Reiki threaten bishops' power? People find they don't need churches or church leaders to tune in to spirit, to practice, to walk the path of enlightenment. Perhaps that is the problem right there. A power struggle for the hearts, minds, and wallets of the people. 

Reiki

Reiki: self-care, philosophical foundation, and spiritual path. Oh, and sometimes we share.

demons

Any demons in Reiki? No, we do not summon demons. Reiki is love and light.

Reiki is passive. We don't summon anything. We simply tune in to Reiki, tell our egos to take a nap, and place our hands. Reiki just is.

As Pamela Miles (talk in Portland, Maine, July 2013) said, "Hands on: Reiki. Hands off: no Reiki." This is a beautifully simple description of Reiki. It works for me on many levels. One, I don't need to dance, chant, or engage in complex rituals prior to placing my hands. I simply take a moment to focus, then place my hands. Then Reiki happens. I don't have to wave my arms, screw up my face, shudder in a pseudo-seizure, or whisper cryptic riddles. Then hands off: done. I don't explain the session to the client; the client explains it to me. I'm there for my client: to witness and support my client's experience. It's simple. Hands on: Reiki. Hands off: no Reiki.

She also said (2006, Reiki: A comprehensive guide), that Reiki practitioners create and hold a space for Reiki. I like that. I just hold the space, and facilitate the client's ability to access and engage in his/her own healing.

No demons. No summoning.

Just Reiki.

Reiki. To me that means love and light. It's my path to spirituality. To me it's about loving and supporting others' journey to health.

Reiki students say the darndest things

Reiki student asked me today, "Does Reiki summon demons? Because my co-worker said she couldn't have it. Said her priest told her it summons demons."

Well, I"m glad the student asked, instead of wondering and worrying.

In case you are wondering and worrying: No. Reiki does not summon demons.

As a Reiki practitioner I'm all about love and light. I access my own personal spiritual and religious beliefs when I tune in to Reiki. For me, Reiki is my link to spirit. Sharing Reikii feels like going to church, temple, or mosque. Similar to the ecstasy of climbing a mountain and getting to the top, taking in the view. 

When I practice Reiki I feel love, connection, and gratitude. 

Reiki is pure, powerful, and neutral: neither "good" nor "bad." It just is. But my experience of Reiki is all positive.