Thursday, April 28, 2016


I have so many thoughts and opinions on this light/dark duality/polarity issue.

I believe my soul is perfect, it’s my human actions and will that grow and evolve. My soul is perfect, my soul is light- a spark of Divine light. As I evolve, I become more enlightened, more light. My light merges with the lights of other souls, and together we are the light called God. Light is oneness. Light is our path.

I believe that splitting light & dark is part of the old paradigm: the belief in duality: love/hate, peace/war, you/me, us/them. I believe that we are growing into unity, where we are all one, all connected. I am light/dark. I am me and I am you. We are all light beings, light, we are Light.

From nursing I believe that we, as humans, develop patterns of being. We continually grow and evolve to improve these patterns, to improve our insight and our health, to spiral up into a higher vibration.

My experience on the Other Side was one of pure love, bliss, laughter, & acceptance. Strong pure color. Love, just love.

My reaction to a person’s anger or fear is love. Love Bomb.
When I first had my spiritual awakening it was scary and I prayed to the Light a lot. I had this mantra when I got scared, “I am of the Light. I walk in the Light. If you are not of the Light, then begone!” I haven’t needed that mantra in years. I think I internalized it, and shortened it to simply this: “I am Light. I love you.”  I feel other spirits sometimes and it isn’t scary.

Saturday, April 23, 2016


A dangerous day.
Had grocery store sushi.
It was good. I thrive.

Friday, April 22, 2016


It's an unusual color: creamy reddish.

The fleece had a short staple and a fine crimp. I washed and spun it, as usual. The yarn came out kind of stiff. Now I'm knitting it into a sweater and the sweater is kind of stiff. It's like memory foam. I squeeze it and it holds the shape at first, but then slowly resumes its former form. It seems alive.

Will someone want to wear it? The color is gorgeous, but the texture. I keep thinking I should rip it out and make a rug or blanket instead. Who wants a stiff heavy sweater? Will it soften up with washing and wearing?

*sigh* I've spent hours and hours on it and I want to rip the whole thing apart and start over. 

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trim and a wax

Went to a new place for a haircut.

Left the old place because my fav cutter, Bri, left, and of course they wouldn't tell me where. I tried a different one there but my hair kept getting stuck in her scissors, and tugged, and that hurt. Plus they were kind of snooty. Except for Bri, but she's gone.

So the new place. Four cutters were hanging out when I walked in. Cheerful giggling young ladies. I asked for a trim. "You want a wax too?"

I thought about washing my car in the winter. I go to a cement building and pay $2. I spray my car with soapy water, cleaning off the salt and sand. Then rinse. Sometimes I spray it with hot wax at the end. I imagined the cutter cutting and then spraying my hair into a wax helmet. That would be weird.

OH. Eyebrows, mustaches, and possibly other places. I realized. "Just a trim," I said. 

Thursday, April 21, 2016


A good camera is expensive. 

I have a cheapo $100 Canon point & shoot. Works great, love it, fits in my pocket. 

But those stunning astonishing photos: birds in a marsh or soaring. Close up of a flower. People so focused you can see the buttons, the freckles, the hair.

Those crisp far and near photos, those come from expensive cameras. I looked at some gorgeous photos online, then researched the cameras associated with those photos. Those cameras start at $1500, and that's just the body. Lenses are another $1000-2000. Oh. 

What if you drop it?

In a pond. Or the ocean. 

Or a toddler throws it, or you sit on it?

a sense of smell

Was in the middle of a hypersensitivity reaction to spring pollen. You know, "allergies." 

Was blowing my nose and washing my hands a lot. Went through a lot of kleenex and soap. Opened a new bottle of hand soap. Coconut, mmmm. I took a sniff. Hey! Unscented! What's up with that? Ok, maybe I could add a few drops of essential oil or cologne. I found an old small bottle of cologne and opened it. Huh. So old the scent was all gone. I dumped it down the drain. Tried another, same thing. Huh. Another. 

Wait a minute. Sniffed the toothpaste: nothing. Some highly scented lotion. Perfume, eucalyptus oil, new rose-scented foundation, the toothpaste again. Nothing nothing nothing. I couldn't smell. No smell, no taste. I couldn't taste. What is the point of eating if one can't taste? Part of me was gone, maybe forever. Part of life. Gone. 

Not that I always and immediately go for the worst possible outcome. 

Well, it would be ok at work. When I take students to the nursing home and hospital, it would be ok to not smell the smells. Bright side. 

This morning I could smell a little. Now, yes. A miracle, a blessing of life! Smell. I can smell again. 

Tuesday, April 19, 2016

good hair, bad face


That's what everyone said. As they jumped back. Shock and horror on their faces.

The herbal remedies don't seem to be working. I can't stop coughing, sneezing, and wiping my nose. I had important meetings, so I went in to work. That's when all the eeeeuwing and jumping happened. Everyone told me to go home, so I did. Excused myself from the important meetings. Darn, what a waste of a good hair day.

Monday, April 18, 2016

Jedi lightsaber?

Do you think we pull in Reiki like a beam of light? Do we pull it in through our head, feet, or elbows? Do we shoot it out through our hands like a Jedi with a lightsaber? 

Or maybe it's just everywhere, all around, all the time. Maybe it's quiet, pervasive, and omnipresent. Gentle like grass. Like a cloud. Maybe we just tune in, or awaken to it. 


Environmental sensitivities? Here's my regimen. Echinacea and goldenseal tincture: a few drops several times a day. Elderberry syrup, local organic. Tasty enough for pancakes. A spoonful morning and night. 

Drink lots of herbal tea. 

Perhaps an NSAID, but use cautiously, sparingly. 

Shower in the evening; rinse off that pollen before bed.
Should maybe try a neti pot, but... no. No neti.

Trees will leaf out soon, relief.

Reiki evening

This is a class I teach every other month. It's open to the public. Some people come every time. Four people came this evening; three repeats and one new.

The pollen is high right now, and my throat was a little sore. I sipped hot chamomile tea, and it felt better to sip than to speak. So I sat back. Sipped. They spoke.

I learned so much from them, about them, and about myself. I realized how much I usually try to control the content and flow of information. I felt grateful to them for putting up with my control-freakishness. Grateful for their sharing. Grateful for the companionship, respect, and connection I feel at these Reiki evenings.

Tuesday, April 12, 2016

Amethyst Health

Amethyst Health was the name of our collective of integrative providers, on Front Street in Farmington, Maine, USA.

We offered services, classes, and retail items. Our providers offered: Reiki, massage, hypnotherapy, aromatherapy, life coaching, and hypnobirthing. We sold crystals, art glass, wind chimes, CDs, tuning forks, and incense.

The local hospital was interested in our venture, and encouraged me to start a Reiki program. So I did. 

Sunday, April 10, 2016

past lives

Had a past life reading today. The psychic scolded me for things I did in past lives.

Saturday, April 9, 2016


I went to a wellness fair today to talk to people about Reiki and the services we provide at our local outpatient cancer center.

One person wanted to talk about celebrities. Another asked if I would rub his feet. A woman got a paper cut from one of our pamphlets. She told me to warn people that they were sharp, before wandering off to find a bandage for her bloody finger.

Mostly I talked about Reiki and our services. I also had two energy treatments, new things I'd never heard of. My hypersensitive spring sinuses felt better. I walked a labyrinth while a woman chanted and played bowls. The room was full of art. I chatted with a friend. It was fun.

I left and explored. Drove and walked. It was cold and sunny. Took me four hours to get home, a 30-minute drive. I saw beautiful old houses, the ocean, old boats, weather vanes, New England churches, parks, waterfalls, flowers, barns, and sheep. 

Sunday, April 3, 2016

the angry man

There's a ship. Captain and crew aboveboard, rowing slaves in the hold below.

The slaves never see the light or feel the wind. They row and sleep. Crew throws down food, orders, and insults.

One day a larger ship sails up. It's gold, full of riches, the biggest ship in a global fleet. The board of directors on the larger ship takes over the smaller ship. They throw the Captain down into the hold with the slaves.

Now the former Captain is rowing with the slaves. He complains loudly that he is a minority, that the slaves have taken his job, and that they discriminate against him. He complains that he is being treated unfairly, by the slaves. He blames them for the change in his circumstances. He wants everything to go back to the way it was. He wants to build walls, ban foreigners, and punish everyone. He wants to be in charge.

He can't see the light or feel the wind.