coping

Communication, education, and ethics- these are my coping strategies for these scary times.

consent for Reiki

Many people have questions about consent for Reiki.

Sharing Reiki, that is. Of course self-Reiki is the foundation of our practice. And Reiki is primarily a philosophy and life-style. Still, many people instantly go to sharing hands-on, when they think of Reiki. So that's what I'm looking at here.

As a nurse, I heartily support the ethical concept of autonomy, manifested as informed consent. So I inform and obtain consent before sharing Reiki. I keep the inform part simple. I usually say something like, "Many people find Reiki to be relaxing. Keep your clothes on and get comfortable. I'll be placing my hands on your head, shoulders to hands, and knees to feet. All you have to do is relax and breathe.... Got any questions? Want to try it?"

If the person consents, then I give a few more instructions.

"Eyes open or closed, up to you. You can shift around at any time. You may ask me questions at any time."

I keep my eyes open, so I can check on the person's facial expressions and body language. I'm there to support, encourage, and facilitate the person's journey to health. I'm there to listen and to witness. I'm reticent.

If I can't get consent, then I don't ask the higher self; I refrain. I respect the person's conscious choice. I don't force it on anyone.

Good luck.
Be well, be Reiki. 

50 states?

I'm fuzzy on Wyoming, Montana, and Idaho. It was a long road trip, that one from Maine to California way back then; Utah and Colorado for sure that time. Definitely missing Alaska; probably WY, MT, and ID too. Been to all the rest. Wait, never been to Oregon. Time for another road trip!

What Level are you?

Someone asked me about another Reiki practitioner. "Is she a Master?"

I replied that she was, not that it matters.

It doesn't matter if the Reiki practitioner is Level 1, 2, or 3 (Master/Teacher). All are capable of sharing Reiki. You see, Reiki isn't about the practitioner, it's about the universal life force. The Level 1 practitioner is the same as the Level 3. All that really matters is if the Reiki practitioner has a therapeutic presence: able to listen, to be present, and to be kind. And ethical: respectful of the person's body, space, beliefs, values, and thoughts. And reticent: allow the person to experience and interpret their own visions.

You can take all the Reiki classes that you want. The energy is the same. What makes one a great practitioner is therapeutic presence, ethics, and reticence.

meditation

My students keep asking me for meditation.

OK.

Yesterday I sent them to beds and stretchers. They doubled up, cuddled up to the manikins, or simply laid their heads on a table. I turned out the lights. We stretched and breathed. They closed their eyes and slowed down.

I talked to them slowly. Told them this:
Rest, breathe, relax.
Imagine there is an egg of light around you.
What color is your egg of light?

Imagine that you're tiny inside your egg, floating around.
Rest, breathe, relax.
Imagine that your egg is enormous.
Imagine that you are a drop of water, floating in your egg of light.

Be a drop of water. Be rain. Rain into the ocean.
Be a wave.
Rest, breathe, relax.

The sun shines on you and you evaporate.
Now you're air.
Be a breeze. The wind.
Blow over the land.
Blow into a forest fire.

Be fire.
Burn away what you no longer need.
Burn til you reach a marsh.
Become earth.
Rest, breathe, relax.

Be earth.
Provide fruits and vegetables.
Eat.
Be you.

Wake up. 

weird energy

Someone said last night at the Reiki Share that energy is weird right now.

Is it?

There's the election. Anxiety and anger. Sexism, racism, stupidity, lies, and greed.
End of semester: stress there for sure.
Winter coming. Drought.
Earthquakes, fire, fracking, oil pipelines, animals dying.

Is the weird energy: fear?

The Reiki principles tell us not to anger or worry.
What about fear.
Is fear a step beyond worry?
Just for today, don't be afraid.

Put your energy in love. Feel peace, connection, light, and warmth.
Forgive someone. Forgive yourself.
Hug lots.
Love.

my dream

My dream is that we all wake up and remember that we're connected.

Soldiers drop their weapons and embrace. Greed ends. Earth rests, rejuvenates, burgeons with new life. Whales rejoice. Peace and love. 

therapeutic presence

How to witness, support, facilitate, and validate.
And not advise, translate, interpret, and say how great you are.

Reiki is easy. Well, the sharing part. The walking the principled path part is harder. Sharing is easy. I place my hands and open my heart to love. I go to my happy Reiki place, and marvel at the spiritual connection with universal life force energy.

Sharing Reiki is easy. Being a therapeutic presence is difficult.
How to be therapeutic?
Listen.
Shhhhhh..... just listen.
Ask open-ended questions. "Tell me more."
Ask, "What does that mean to you?"

Ask, don't tell.
Don't tell someone how to feel, don't offer advice or interpret another person's experience. That's your ego. Your journey, your stuff, your baggage. Set all of that aside and be present for another person.

Be a therapeutic presence. Listen, love, support. 

timeline of an upper respiratory infection

Monday, Day 1: Slept 10 hours, woke several times in the night with sore throat. I blow my nose and the mucus is orange. I might be getting sick. I go to work. I feel progressively worse as the hours tick by. I end the day with fever, chills, and shooting pains. I sleep 14 hours.

Tuesday, Day 2: I wake and feel completely fine! I go to work. By the end of the day I realize I'm not fine. Sore throat is back. Headache too. Sinuses. I go home early and sleep 10 hours.

Wednesday, Day 3: Sick. I call out of work. The virus moves down to my chest. How many ibuprofen can I have in one day?

Thursday, Day 4: No voice. Went to work where my coworkers backed away from me in horror and concern as they begged me to go home.

Friday, Day 5: No voice. Wheezes. Stayed home. Stepped outside to get the mail. Neighbor stopped to show me his new puppy. Spasm of coughing. Neighbor backed away from me in horror and concern and told me I work too much.

Saturday: Day 6: Day 3 of no voice. Coughed up nebulas of olive green mucus.  Smudged the house with sage that I picked up in New Mexico in July. Opened all the doors, inside/outside, cupboards, and closets. Trails of pungent smoke. Out with illness, in with wellness.

Months ago my friend Denise planned a birthday surprise for our friend Betsy. We told Betsy to save the date. Denise and I bought three tickets to a Broadway national production of Rent. The three of us have the best times together. We talk, laugh, and cry. Mostly laugh. I'm a Rent-head. I listened to the sound track every day for a year. I know all the words to all the songs.

Denise and Betsy are going without me. I'm quarantined at home. Sick.

Sunday. Day 7. My voice is back! It's harsh, wheezy, and scratchy; but I can speak. Cutting back on the ibuprofen. Definitely improving. Tested out activities: went to work for a few hours. No one there, no one to scare with my scary cough. Took photos in a park.

Monday, Day 8. I went to work. Ten hours with students at the hospital. Ran into my doctor and she said yes, my eyes are so bloodshot because of the pressure with coughing. Less coughing today.

Tuesday, Day 9. Worked 12 hours. People said to me, "This is better? You're feeling better now, and you were worse than this?"

Days 10 and 11. Working, sleeping, coughing. The election. Sad. Slept 15 hours.

Day 12. I feel better.

Day 17. The cold that came to stay. And wouldn't leave. Mostly gone; just a lingering cough, sore throat, and headache. Mostly feel fine. Worked just 7 1/2 hours today instead of my usual 10-14. Came home and raked leaves. It was warm outside, 59 degrees (15C). Sunny. Still have blooming calendula and salad greens.

Day 19. This cough is just a bad habit.

Day 20. The end.

research

old but still good
Published abstract of my Reiki research    Abstract

http://online.liebertpub.com/doi/pdfplus/10.1089/acm.2014.5197.abstract 

weller

I'm weller today than I was yesterday.

Yesterday I went to work feeling a little unwell: sore throat. Blew my nose and the mucus was orange. Eeuw. Stay home? Not sure of the protocol for calling out sick, and didn't want the students to have to make up a day so I took a couple of ibuprofen and headed out. Got to work at 5:15 am.

Worked. Felt worse as the day progressed. Didn't feel too bad if I kept moving, but if I sat down then I closed my eyes and held my head and felt not-so-OK-ish. I was chilly, chilled. cold. Couldn't get warm. Went to the fair in the lobby and bought a jacket. Still cold. Shivering, covered with goosebumps cold. Couldn't think clearly.

I left work a little early, students looked worried, told me to drive carefully. They stayed to finish their paperwork.

Home I cranked up the heat to 70. I usually leave it at 60. Took a hot shower. Turned up my electric blanket all the way. Still cold, shivering, it hurt to be that cold. Sharp stabbing shooting pains in my joints and feet. I was hungry, but couldn't work up the motivation to eat. Fever. Went to bed. Still cold. Slept, woke because I bit my tongue, twice. omg- did I have a fever-induced seizure? I worry too much. Slept almost 14 hours.

Woke up and was fine. I was amazed. Fine! No sore throat, no fever, no chills. Did I cook that virus out of me? I went to work.

today

The past doesn't matter: the stories, slights and grievances. Who are you today?

Who will you be?

Will you walk in anger, scowling at all you see? Or will you smile and shake hands? 

vastness

Remember the vastness of your soul.

Open your heart, melt, loosen the bonds of your molecules. Float.

Be large.

Be as big as the world and see how small your troubles become.

Be small. Be as small as a drop of water. Feel your connection with all the other drops of water in a puddle or a pond. 

Chemo and radiation

Question. Can the Reiki practitioner be harmed by sharing Reiki with a person who just had chemotherapy or radiation therapy?

Answer. Well, short answer, is No.

I don't know of any way the Reiki practitioner could be harmed. If you feel that you're being harmed, look within. Your answers are within. Do self-Reiki. Drink fresh water, rest, meditate. Self-Reiki. Examine your fears. Know yourself.

Longer answer. Oncology nurses wear special gowns and gloves when they handle chemotherapy. The Reiki practitioner will not be handling chemo, so does not need the special gowns and gloves. Nurses wear regular gowns and gloves to protect from body fluids. Reiki practitioners should also wear this protection if there is a chance they'll come into contact with body fluids. Universal precautions, we call this. It's more likely that the Reiki practitioner will come in contact with body fluids if sharing in a hospital. Less likely in an infusion center, even less likely in an outpatient support center.

Oncology nurses take no special precautions with the person who just experienced radiation therapy. That person is not radioactive. Unless and except when the person has radioactive implants. That's different. Then the person with implants should take precautions, keeping social distance for several days/weeks, as the implants do their thing.

So. The person enduring chemo and radiation can't harm you, the Reiki practitioner.

If you believe you're experiencing harmful effects, look within. Ask and listen. Know yourself.
Self-Reiki.

Just for today, don't worry.
Warm Reiki hugs.

Poland?

What does it mean when I get 109 views from Poland in one day? 

election

I voted. It was thrilling.

It's done. The political nonsense can stop. The horrible revelations, insults, threats, and lies can stop.

I voted early. No lines. The place was deserted actually, except for two nice ladies who checked me in. They were happy to see me. Whee! A customer. They had to turn on the laptop. We had a pleasant chat.

Early voting: highly recommended.

Acadia

I woke up at 5:15 and half an hour later was on top of Cadillac Mountain, in Acadia National Park. "Acadia," home to Mi'kmaq, then a French colony, now Maine. Cadillac: they say it's the first place where sunlight hits the USA. So there I was.

I parked in the front row and turned off the engine; the wind rocked my car. It was dark, cloudy, and foggy. Would I even see the sun rise? I waited with others for the first light of dawn.

It was 39 degrees and dark. I sat in my car drinking hotel coffee, snagged the night before from the lobby and left overnight in the car for this breakfast. Cold raw 39-degree coffee, dense and bitter. Fog blasted by.

There were four or five cars when I arrived. I had my pick of parking spots. We sat in the dark. Others arrived and sat with headlights on. Their lights filled my car and reflected painfully from my mirrors. Why would you leave your headlights on when you're waiting for first light? I got out and walked away from the cars.

I thought about sharing space with tourists. I remembered the day before, hiking around the park. There are narrow trails, and signs asking you to stay on them. They clot the path, taking selfies. They walk two and three abreast; with strollers, backpacks, and walking sticks, talk talk talking. They don't adjust as I approach; they knock me off the path. They smell like fabric softener. Why don't they walk single file? Can't they see me? Is it the gray hair? Is personal space so much smaller where they live? If so, I don't want to live there.

I stumbled around in the dark, sliding on wet rocks. I stepped into a puddle, soaking my right shoe. The wind was powerful. I was glad of my layers, topped with a winter jacket, a wool hat that Karen made, scarf and gloves. The wind blew the surliness out of me.

I noticed I was singing. The Star Spangled Banner. Sunrise, Sunset. And, to the tune of "On top of Old Smoky," "On top of Cadillac Mountain." All covered in fog...

As I walked around the top of the mountain,  I realized that I could see the pink of my coat. I could see the puddles. No sunrise, as it was overcast and foggy, but it was dawn. First light. When the wind blasted a hole in the fog I could see the town below, the water, islands, and cruise ships. I could see twinkles of light in the gray. Everything was gray: outlines of trees and rocks.

Colors emerged: yellow and red maples; salmon-pink rocks, covered with bright green lichen; white lichen; red leafed blueberry bushes.

The parking lot was full, maybe 100 cars. Tourists hurried by, herds of them, hunched into thin windbreakers; bare ankles, moaning with cold. I was glad of my wool socks and warm gloves.

I took photos at the top, but they came out black and blurry. I couldn't hold my hand still in that wind. It was strong enough to unbalance me.

Foggy and puddly, cold strong winds: maybe not the best time for a bike ride, but that was next on my list. I descended the mountain.

I rode on the carriage trails, crushed rock over dirt. The sun came out. Blue sky and water, pink and gray mountains covered with pixels of bright red yellow and green. I rode and marveled til my camera battery died and I got hungry. I was cheered, ready to rejoin humanity. Back to the motel for hot coffee, eggs, and waffles.

Be Reiki

October flowers

Last blooms of summer. It hasn't frosted yet. Frost will end them.

So the October flowers are holding on. Grabbing sun and warmth. Persisting. Enduring. Seeking

tune in to joy

Joy, love, kindness.
Feel it, be it.
Reiki.

open

global health care

Let's just skip national health care and go for global health care. Free health care for everyone on Earth.

Oh, you ask, how will we pay for this?

Redistribute wealth. Potlatch. Make peace, not war.

PS: free global education too

Reiki on ~

wondrous

shared Reiki today

One person asked: "Will you see into my black heart?" I laughed, said, "You don't have a black heart! I believe we're all divine sparks of light. Here on Earth to do ghastly things and kind things and learn, and be better. And be more light."

peace love Reiki

breathe... be Reiki

open your heart to Reiki

timeline of a cold

Day 0. Actually two weeks. Five co-workers have colds. They drop by my office to chat, for varying lengths of time,  2 to 20 minutes,  interfacing with my office environment. When they leave I swipe surfaces with Chlorox wipes and self-Reiki.

Day 1. The suspicion of a symptom. No, probably overreacting. Yes, symptoms increase noticeably each hour. A slight headache, several sneezes, touch of a sore throat, general malaise. Regard still sick co-workers with annoyance. Have holiday plans, maybe will wake up and be totally fine. Self-Reiki.

Day 2. First day of 3-day holiday weekend, have many fun plans with family & friends. Symptoms peak, feel miserable, cancel plans, curse co-workers. Moan and whine.

Day 3. Slightly better? Feel pretty much ok if I rest on the couch. Gorgeous perfect weather outside, almost criminal to be inside, I think wearily, when I venture out for a few minutes. Spend the day on the couch with a box of tissues. Red nose runs like a hose. Many sneezes. Body aches. Then nose stuffs up; mouth-breathing. Thinking seems muddled. Ration NSAIDs carefully to avoid overdose. Echinacea tincture qid. Self-Reiki head and sinuses.

Day 4. Last day of holiday weekend. Cough tastes metallic, like blood. NSAIDs, echinacea, tissues. More gorgeous weather, everyone in the world is celebrating, hiking, BBQg, swimming, kayaking. Another day on the couch, mouth-breathing coughing sneezing, cursing co-workers and my own bloody immune system. Self-Reiki.

Day 5. Back to work. 

Be Reiki

Summer 2016

Hopewell Rocks, Salt Lake City, Bryce Canyon, Monument Valley, Taos Pueblo, Chebeague Island. Family & friends <3 Adventures, elevation, rocks.

also Reiki Retreat with Frans Stiene and fabulous Reiki practitioners, Integrative Medicine conference in Taos, hikes, beach, bike rides, concerts, feeling joyful & astonished, saying YES to everything...

Hot

Lately, when I share Reiki, I get so hot. I burn. Like I'm on fire.

Today students and I went to the local cancer infusion center to share Reiki with patients, family members, and staff. I helped the students get started, then went around to assist. I placed my hands on the patients and the students. The rooms were cool, patients bundled up in blankets, nurses scurrying around.

I got so hot. I stopped and felt cooler immediately.

One student got super hot too. Her face was red and sweaty. She said, "I never get hot. I'm always cold. My hands are always cold. I'm hot now. So hot."

What is it? Is the energy more accessible? 

City Hall

Sat outside City Hall for half an hour today. In a 10-minute zone. Reading my car manual.

I taught all day, Reiki, at the University. Wait, I have to go back to Friday. Car inspection on the last day of the month, squeaked it in. Wonderful mechanic noticed no stickers on my license plate. I thought I took care of the registration, a while back. Online. Yes. Registration in glove box, dated April. But it's July and no stickers. Where are the stickers?

I looked all through the car. Came home and looked in the several likely places. I vaguely remember them arriving in the mail, but it was raining, so set them down. Somewhere.

Today I taught all day, in Augusta. Back to Lewiston quick, before City Hall closes. Parked on a hill, in aforementioned 10-minute zone. Got the stickers, 50 cents. Back in the car it starts to rain. Then pour. I put in the key but can't turn it. Can't turn the steering wheel either.

So I sat in my car for half an hour reading the car manual. It directed me to press the STOP AND START button, but my car doesn't have one of those. So I emailed a friend, whose office was right across the street. I was embarrassed. Felt so stupid. First losing the stickers, and now stuck. In the rain. On a hill. In a zone. And just wanted to go home.

The police station was down the street, and many drove by. No one stopped to get me out of the 10-minute zone. I eyed passing males. Most looked sketchy. Scary. Inner city. I kept reading. Remembered my road-side assistance card, dialed the number.

Then I heard a text buzz in. Was friend. "Jiggle," he instructed. Jiggle the steering wheel while turning the key. I jiggled. Nothing. Jiggled some more. It worked!

When stuck in front of City Hall, on a hill, in the rain, in a zone: jiggle. When you haven't got a STOP AND START button: jiggle. When in a sticky situation: jiggle. 

Reiki Nurse vid

Reiki Nurse

Reiki Nurse

Reiki Nurse: textbook for class

fire

Shared Reiki with people with cancer yesterday and today, also Reiki Share last night. Felt so boiling hot. Like a flame inside, going up my spine.

My hands felt like fire ants. Not that I've ever felt fire ants. I haven't. My hands felt like what I imagine fire ants feel like. Moving pinpoints of fire.

Both days the room was comfortably cool. I was comfortably cool before and after the sessions.

Lately, Reiki has been fire.

Summer travels

Summer trips over; I'm home and back to work. Easing back to work. Teaching a hybrid class now, back full time in a few weeks.

I went from the SE tip of New Brunswick, Canada, to Santa Fe and Taos NM. I went to national parks, museums, mountains, canyons, beaches, and rock shops. I left my car with my son, talked to strangers, shared a bedroom with a stranger at Reiki conference, slept in a closet, slept on couches, slept in a Reiki room, hiked in the desert, hiked in the Wasatch Mountains, hiked along the rim of Bryce canyon, crossed the Continental Divide, meditated, chanted, and swam. I saw deer, antelope, elk, rabbits, cacti, cowboys, churches, mesas, buttes, and spires.

I went to Hopewell Rocks, Fundy National Park, a Reiki retreat in Massachusetts, Salt Lake City, Park City, Bryce Canyon, Monument Valley, Four Corners, Abiquiu, Santa Fe, Taos, and Chebeague Island. I went to the Red Butte Botanical Garden, Utah Natural History museum, a Mormon sculpture garden, Lake Powell, the Georgia O'Keeffe museum, the Cathedral Basilica of St Francis of Assisi, Museum of Contemporary Native Arts, the Nambe Trading Post, Taos Pueblo, the Kit Carson Home and Museum, the Governor Bent Home and Museum, and Taos Ski Valley. I went from sea level: Hopewell Rocks, NB, to 11,000 feet: Guardsman Pass, Utah.

I traveled by car, bus, plane, foot, and ferry. I spent time with family: sons, grandson, DsIL, and cousins. I spent the night in Logan Airport.

I talked with my grandmother through medium Marla in New Brunswick.  I studied with Frans Stiene in Massachusetts, and shared Reiki with amazing women. I learned about insomnia, medical cannabis, medicinal herbs, and gut health at the U of NM Integrative Medicine Conference in Taos, and the poetry of Robert Lowell at the Chebeague Island Library.

boom

We did attunements at the pond yesterday.

It was quiet when we arrived, nine of us. A big frog sat on a lily pad. There were lots of lily pads, and a few white lilies. Warm, sunny, breezy, humid: quiet. The long lawns were freshly mowed, and hardly anyone walked by.

We sat. We meditated. Suddenly a whole family reunion of frogs boomed a symphony. Turtles approached and bobbed. Birds sang. We looked at each other in bewilderment and joy. We laughed.

We meditated, we attuned to Reiki. 

trash

Jumped out of bed, it's trash day! Gathered up the kitchen and bathroom trash and rushed out to the garage. Stopped at the curb. Why did all the neighbors set out empty garbage cans? I stared, confused.

Oh. Overslept. 

A lesson in releasing distractions

I wanted to meditate among the stones, but the path was narrow and bordered with signs saying, "Stay on path." Finally I found a relatively ordinary spot where the path turned and was wider. Ordinary doesn't really fit, as I was in Bryce Canyon, Utah, where there are a million gorgeous sights. Still, there were fabulous views all around, and I chose a spot with a rather regular view, considering the location.

I sat between the path and the sign.

I fixed my posture. I breathed. I found a focus point and softened my gaze. Breathed more. Felt myself relax, felt the stones. My hands pulsed with energy. Magnificent.

Then I heard:
"Hey! Look at her!"
"Quiet kids! That lady's having a spiritual moment. I said 'QUIET!''
"Look! She's meditating!"
"Ooh, what's she looking at?"

People gathered around me to see what I was looking at. They took pictures of my view. They took pictures of me.

It was time to move on.

how to help

As a teacher, a nurse and a Reiki practitioner ~ I recognize that providing opportunities and witnessing are powerful ways to "help" someone.

grief

D's mom died.

I sat with D on her mom's lawn last week. We sat in the sun, beside a rose bush. D greeted relatives as they arrived to say goodbye. There were hugs and tears. D wanted to be outside, wanted to be the greeter, wanted a break from the bedside.

We talked about her mom, life, and Reiki. I stayed about an hour. It was her childhood home, the place her parents lived in together for over 40 years. Her mom died a few hours after I left.

I went to visiting hours at the funeral home yesterday. Pulling in to the parking lot I nearly hit a nun. I mouthed "Sorry!!" and she made a motion with her hands. I thought it was a blessing, the motion, a downward motion. I felt grateful, forgiven, blessed. Later a friend told me the motion was not a blessing, it meant "Slow down."

D greeted me inside the entrance. I chatted with her, and with another Reiki practitioner, L, and L's mom. There were lots of people there, the casket, an altar, posters, and a video. More Reiki people arrived, and other healers. We stood in a big circle and talked. I met another spinner, another Dr Who fan, and a father with a patient young son.

We talked about our sunrise hike the previous day. How we had to park outside the closed gates at the state park, and feared our cars would be towed. Feared that we were breaking the rule, as the park opened at 9 am. We did see sunrise from the top and it was beautiful.

Grief comes in waves. It's good to have friends around to lean on when it's a big wave. It's good to have a community to help you get to the top and see far.

Reiki retreat with Frans Stiene

Home from a four-day Reiki retreat with Frans Stiene and 12 wonderful Reiki women. We chanted in Japanese, meditated, did shamanic journeying, and shared hands-on Reiki. We met all day in a big room with windows all around and skylights too.

The retreat was held at a resort, 20 acres of woods on the Massachusetts-Vermont border: hilly, woodsy, old dairy farms, ravines, and rivers. There was a pool and two hot-tubs. Lots of flowers: roses, peonies, lilacs, irises, and columbine. Lots of birds: rose-breasted grosbeak, turkey vulture, cardinals, jays, and sparrows; lots of birdsong.

The food was fabulous. Vegan and vegetarian, delicious and plenty. We had tempeh reubens, kale smoothies, spinach souffle, and carrot-ginger soup. Chocolate flour-less torte, chocolate chip cookies, and strawberry-rhubarb pie. Hot coffee and tea 24 hours/day. Hot was good as the weather was cloudy and chilly.

I walked to a dairy farm one morning and found three dark pink crystals in the road. Dark rose quartz or rhodocrosite? One night after dinner Dusty and I drove out looking for a river. We found one, with a covered bridge and a waterfall. I picked up chunks of milky quartz and Dusty found sturdy round gray river rocks for herself and spotted dinosaur eggs for her son.

My room-mate told me about plant spirit medicine. Every woman had a story. Every woman had a story of injury, loss, and conflict. Every woman had a story of rebirth and healing. Every woman experienced visions of transformance and empowerment. We sang and danced. We sat in bright light.

Frans taught us lots of guided meditations. He told us stories of his teachers and travels.

My favorite meditation was stepping into a tree, becoming a tree. 

the vegetarian

Was travelling and got hungry. Was unprepared, no healthy snacks. Stopped at a fast food place and ordered egg & cheese on an English muffin, secretly horrified at all the non-GMO and caged chickens.

I paid and she handed me a bag, Egg McMuffin! she said cheerfully. No meat, right? I mean I ordered egg & cheese. Oh, she said. We looked. A circle of pink moist tissue. Meat. Ick. So sorry, could you make me another one? Thanks.

She whisked it away. There was a long line of cars behind me. She brought back a new one right away really fast. Too fast. Here you go! Um, did  you just take off the meat and bring it back? Yes. I did. Why yes, she did. OMG. I freaked out a little. So grossed out, I'M A VEGETARIAN and so grossed out right now.. could you please make me a new one? Oh yes, no problem. I watched her toss out the original and soon brought a new one.

I hate to complain. What was the cook thinking and doing? Crap. Not so hungry any more.
I took a bite. It was crunchy. Ground glass? McYuck. Tossed it.

life hacks

... ways to make my life easier, maybe yours too

French press. I love coffee. Can't tolerate caffeine anymore, but still love the smell and experience of hot coffee. So it's decaf for me. Lots of local roasters, so I buy decaf beans. I love the dark oily fragrant beans. To open a new bag... ahhhhh. Smell it? .... grind them and then, the best way to make coffee? A French press. Easy, deep rich & tasty flavor. The usual French press is small, makes one small cup of coffee. I used small ones for years. I had to refill it with hot water to make a large mug of coffee, refill it again for a second cup. Why? There are LARGE French presses. I finally bought one, wow, so much easier. Plenty of good coffee.

Free your houseplants. It's spring. I'm going on a trip. Get someone to water my houseplants? Nope, Set them outside.  I put them on the shady end of the deck for partial sun. Rain, easy, done.

Grocery shopping is fun. Ok, grocery shopping is tedious. How to make it fun? I like to explore on weekends. There are tons of gorgeous places to explore within 2 hours of my house. When I'm out and about, adventuring and exploring, I shop at a the local grocery. New, different, fun.

summer reads

To read: 

How to cook a moose, Kate Christensen
Being Mortal, Atul Gawande
Eligible, Curtis Sittenfeld
The Vegetarian, Han Kang
My name is Lucy Barton, Elizabeth Strout
Old Filth, Jane Gardam
Nobody's Fool & Everybody's Fool, Richard Russo
All the light we cannot see, Anthony Doerr
Hunger, Knut Hamsun
The little Paris bookshop, Nina George 
The Door, Magda Szabo
Preparation for the next life, Atticus Lish
Barkskins, Anne Proulx
White dog fell from the sky, Eleanor Morse
next Bill Roorbach
Nobel Prizes in literature

Source: Maine Calling, MPBN

alive

Tuesday: annual physical with venipuncture.
Wednesday: I called office and spoke w receptionist. "Can I get a copy of those labs?"
Receptionist: Sure! Unless you're dying. Ha ha ha! Pause. Longer pause. Oh. Ohhhh. The doctor will call you.
Me: I'm gonna die.
Friday: phone call from Dr's office. Numbers are fine. I'm not gonna die.

one of those days

Woke early, at work at 0630. Annual physical with my doctor at 8 am. She's a medical student and she's graduating, so it was our last visit. As usual, I politely declined all invasive diagnostics. Well, not all, I agreed to a complete blood profile. This will check my kidney and liver function, serum glucose, and cholesterol. I also agreed to a FIT test. You're welcome to google that. 

Back to work for important meetings. We met all day. We're learning to collaborate and it's a creaky process. Before, after, and between meetings I answered emails and worked on syllabi. Also a creaky process. 

Stopped at the grocery store for vegies. It's rainy. It's only Tuesday.

Book 3

Started writing a new book.

This is going to be a summer of big changes, travel, and discoveries. I'm searching for Reiki wisdom. Will be looking in unusual places. 

Robust

Why is that the new word? I see and hear it everywhere.

Meanwhile it's spring. The ice cream stands, bike trails, and beaches are opening. Feeling robust. 

float

It really is about releasing ego. Or, as I read today, to release implies effort. So just let it be. Recognize it and let it be.

All the stories you tell yourself.  Your history. Your injuries, sad stories, and resentments. Your accomplishments, triumphs, and purchases. That's all ego, third dimension stuff.

Step back, rise above, transcend. Expand your awareness to your community, your region, your planet. Float in that awareness.  Open your heart to love and light.

Reiki Nurse

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Check out the updated 2016 edition
Reiki Nurse

Frans Stiene

Reading his new book: The Inner Heart of Reiki. 

So good. Answers so many questions I've had. His loving spirit shines through the writing. 

spring greens

It's green and growing in the garden so I suppose I should eat it, but I have no idea what it is. 

Reiki Nurse

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p1-S7oOER4Y 

those birds

The starling chicks up in the attic. They're in the bathroom exhaust/ventilation hose/pipe. Not sure of the proper technical words here. Chicks cheep loudly. They walk around and bounce in the pipe, tiny claws scraping the metal. 

Parents fly in and out constantly, worms hanging from beaks. The door flap is stuck open. Free access. 

They were warm in the freak snow storm. Protected from wind. Room with a view. Will fledge and fly soon. 

spring

One of those perfect days. Temp was about 70, warm bright sun, little cooling breeze. And it's spring so suddenly there are flowers everywhere. Flowering apple & cherry. Forsythia. Tulips, daffodils, lilacs, and phlox. The air is sweet. And the grass- it's just so green. So unbelievably brightly green.

Winter is long in Maine. Six months. Dead-looking trees, cold sidewalks, snow, ice, icicles, and bitter winds. Then it melts into dirt and mud.

But now: green. Sun and flowers. Birds and chipmunks. Naps in the sun. Outdoor cafes. Spring.

Just for today...

When I'm angry I: yell and throw things
When I worry I: get insomnia (chronic) and do self-Reiki (acute)
Quality I value most: mindful kindness
Most profound experiences: 
       1) travelling to the Other Side 
       2) giving birth
You?

wellness

what workshops would interest you most? Spirituality, dream painting, hiking, Reiki, stones & crystals, intuition, mindfulness, nutrition, aromatherapy, acupuncture, polarity, or yoga? Or other...

planning a wellness conference for June 2017

Reiki bliss

I place my hands and drift into the flow... time passes, energy moves

nursing PTSD

So many stories over the years.  So much illness, injury, and abuse. Wonderful inspirational stories of love and health too, of course. But the sad ones.... oh. We witness so much. We listen and support.

A friend wanted to tell me the details of a murder she read about in the newspaper. I stopped her. "Please, I have too many sad and awful stories in my head. Please stop. Please don't tell me this story." Silence. Long silence. 

And then she changed the subject.

Reiki at the dental appointment

Did self-Reiki before and during dental appointment, of course. 

3 deer

Saw three deer today. They were walking between the road and some trees, at the edge of a big field.

They were shaggy, like dogs shedding winter coats.

dental appointment

Everyone at the new dentist's office was super nice. Friendly. Explained everything slowly and gently in small words. 

Pretty sure the new dentist liked me too because when I told him all about the book I'm reading he said, "Uh-huh," "Uh-huh."

bald eagle

"Go, lady," I thought, impatiently. She sat in front of me. Here one may go right on a red light, and she wasn't going. Come on! Finally! I followed her up the ramp and onto the turnpike. Something white, like a plastic bag, fluttered in my vision. Between my car and hers. I slowed as the lady ahead of me sped away.

An eagle. The white was the eagle's tail. There was it's white head too, and big black wings. Flapping, hovering, right in front of me. A crow was attacking as the eagle tried to fetch something on the road, behind a cement barrier. Food? Baby crow? It tried twice as I watched and the crow attacked, but I was on the turnpike and had to drive on.

If the woman had gone when I wanted her to I would have missed the whole show. I think there's a lesson in there.

mercy

We live in a society that expects perfection, and condemns for life people who make certain mistakes. Instead of 
punishment, let's offer assistance and kindness. Let's look for a path of health, let's walk together in the light.

We're not here because we're perfect. We're here to make mistakes, learn, and help others. Right?

anything can happen and it's all good

there are no limits
the universe is massive
possibilities

new dentist

wants to spend 2 hours getting to know me. Dentalphobia AND social anxiety. 

Hoping for 115 minutes of paperwork and 5 minutes of chat.

light

I have so many thoughts and opinions on this light/dark duality/polarity issue.

I believe my soul is perfect, it’s my human actions and will that grow and evolve. My soul is perfect, my soul is light- a spark of Divine light. As I evolve, I become more enlightened, more light. My light merges with the lights of other souls, and together we are the light called God. Light is oneness. Light is our path.

I believe that splitting light & dark is part of the old paradigm: the belief in duality: love/hate, peace/war, you/me, us/them. I believe that we are growing into unity, where we are all one, all connected. I am light/dark. I am me and I am you. We are all light beings, light, we are Light.

From nursing I believe that we, as humans, develop patterns of being. We continually grow and evolve to improve these patterns, to improve our insight and our health, to spiral up into a higher vibration.

My experience on the Other Side was one of pure love, bliss, laughter, & acceptance. Strong pure color. Love, just love.

My reaction to a person’s anger or fear is love. Love Bomb.

When I first had my spiritual awakening it was scary and I prayed to the Light a lot. I had this mantra when I got scared, “I am of the Light. I walk in the Light. If you are not of the Light, then begone!” I haven’t needed that mantra in years. I think I internalized it, and shortened it to simply this: “I am Light. I love you.”  I feel other spirits sometimes and it isn’t scary.

Sushi

A dangerous day.
Had grocery store sushi.
It was good. I thrive.

Moorit

It's an unusual color: creamy reddish.

The fleece had a short staple and a fine crimp. I washed and spun it, as usual. The yarn came out kind of stiff. Now I'm knitting it into a sweater and the sweater is kind of stiff. It's like memory foam. I squeeze it and it holds the shape at first, but then slowly resumes its former form. It seems alive.

Will someone want to wear it? The color is gorgeous, but the texture. I keep thinking I should rip it out and make a rug or blanket instead. Who wants a stiff heavy sweater? Will it soften up with washing and wearing?

*sigh* I've spent hours and hours on it and I want to rip the whole thing apart and start over. 

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Reiki Nurse 2016

trim and a wax

Went to a new place for a haircut.

Left the old place because my fav cutter, Bri, left, and of course they wouldn't tell me where. I tried a different one there but my hair kept getting stuck in her scissors, and tugged, and that hurt. Plus they were kind of snooty. Except for Bri, but she's gone.

So the new place. Four cutters were hanging out when I walked in. Cheerful giggling young ladies. I asked for a trim. "You want a wax too?"

I thought about washing my car in the winter. I go to a cement building and pay $2. I spray my car with soapy water, cleaning off the salt and sand. Then rinse. Sometimes I spray it with hot wax at the end. I imagined the cutter cutting and then spraying my hair into a wax helmet. That would be weird.

OH. Eyebrows, mustaches, and possibly other places. I realized. "Just a trim," I said. 

cameras

A good camera is expensive. 

I have a cheapo $100 Canon point & shoot. Works great, love it, fits in my pocket. 

But those stunning astonishing photos: birds in a marsh or soaring. Close up of a flower. People so focused you can see the buttons, the freckles, the hair.

Those crisp far and near photos, those come from expensive cameras. I looked at some gorgeous photos online, then researched the cameras associated with those photos. Those cameras start at $1500, and that's just the body. Lenses are another $1000-2000. Oh. 

What if you drop it?

In a pond. Or the ocean. 

Or a toddler throws it, or you sit on it?

a sense of smell

Was in the middle of a hypersensitivity reaction to spring pollen. You know, "allergies." 

Was blowing my nose and washing my hands a lot. Went through a lot of kleenex and soap. Opened a new bottle of hand soap. Coconut, mmmm. I took a sniff. Hey! Unscented! What's up with that? Ok, maybe I could add a few drops of essential oil or cologne. I found an old small bottle of cologne and opened it. Huh. So old the scent was all gone. I dumped it down the drain. Tried another, same thing. Huh. Another. 

Wait a minute. Sniffed the toothpaste: nothing. Some highly scented lotion. Perfume, eucalyptus oil, new rose-scented foundation, the toothpaste again. Nothing nothing nothing. I couldn't smell. No smell, no taste. I couldn't taste. What is the point of eating if one can't taste? Part of me was gone, maybe forever. Part of life. Gone. 

Not that I always and immediately go for the worst possible outcome. 

Well, it would be ok at work. When I take students to the nursing home and hospital, it would be ok to not smell the smells. Bright side. 

This morning I could smell a little. Now, yes. A miracle, a blessing of life! Smell. I can smell again. 

good hair, bad face

Eeeeuw.

That's what everyone said. As they jumped back. Shock and horror on their faces.

The herbal remedies don't seem to be working. I can't stop coughing, sneezing, and wiping my nose. I had important meetings, so I went in to work. That's when all the eeeeuwing and jumping happened. Everyone told me to go home, so I did. Excused myself from the important meetings. Darn, what a waste of a good hair day.

Jedi lightsaber?

Do you think we pull in Reiki like a beam of light? Do we pull it in through our head, feet, or elbows? Do we shoot it out through our hands like a Jedi with a lightsaber? 

Or maybe it's just everywhere, all around, all the time. Maybe it's quiet, pervasive, and omnipresent. Gentle like grass. Like a cloud. Maybe we just tune in, or awaken to it. 

Pollen

Environmental sensitivities? Here's my regimen. Echinacea and goldenseal tincture: a few drops several times a day. Elderberry syrup, local organic. Tasty enough for pancakes. A spoonful morning and night. 

Drink lots of herbal tea. 

Perhaps an NSAID, but use cautiously, sparingly. 

Shower in the evening; rinse off that pollen before bed.
Should maybe try a neti pot, but... no. No neti.

Trees will leaf out soon, relief.

Reiki evening

This is a class I teach every other month. It's open to the public. Some people come every time. Four people came this evening; three repeats and one new.

The pollen is high right now, and my throat was a little sore. I sipped hot chamomile tea, and it felt better to sip than to speak. So I sat back. Sipped. They spoke.

I learned so much from them, about them, and about myself. I realized how much I usually try to control the content and flow of information. I felt grateful to them for putting up with my control-freakishness. Grateful for their sharing. Grateful for the companionship, respect, and connection I feel at these Reiki evenings.

Amethyst Health

Amethyst Health was the name of our collective of integrative providers, on Front Street in Farmington, Maine, USA.

We offered services, classes, and retail items. Our providers offered: Reiki, massage, hypnotherapy, aromatherapy, life coaching, and hypnobirthing. We sold crystals, art glass, wind chimes, CDs, tuning forks, and incense.

The local hospital was interested in our venture, and encouraged me to start a Reiki program. So I did. 

past lives

Had a past life reading today. The psychic scolded me for things I did in past lives.

Reiki

I went to a wellness fair today to talk to people about Reiki and the services we provide at our local outpatient cancer center.

One person wanted to talk about celebrities. Another asked if I would rub his feet. A woman got a paper cut from one of our pamphlets. She told me to warn people that they were sharp, before wandering off to find a bandage for her bloody finger.

Mostly I talked about Reiki and our services. I also had two energy treatments, new things I'd never heard of. My hypersensitive spring sinuses felt better. I walked a labyrinth while a woman chanted and played bowls. The room was full of art. I chatted with a friend. It was fun.

I left and explored. Drove and walked. It was cold and sunny. Took me four hours to get home, a 30-minute drive. I saw beautiful old houses, the ocean, old boats, weather vanes, New England churches, parks, waterfalls, flowers, barns, and sheep. 

the angry man

There's a ship. Captain and crew aboveboard, rowing slaves in the hold below.

The slaves never see the light or feel the wind. They row and sleep. Crew throws down food, orders, and insults.

One day a larger ship sails up. It's gold, full of riches, the biggest ship in a global fleet. The board of directors on the larger ship takes over the smaller ship. They throw the Captain down into the hold with the slaves.

Now the former Captain is rowing with the slaves. He complains loudly that he is a minority, that the slaves have taken his job, and that they discriminate against him. He complains that he is being treated unfairly, by the slaves. He blames them for the change in his circumstances. He wants everything to go back to the way it was. He wants to build walls, ban foreigners, and punish everyone. He wants to be in charge.

He can't see the light or feel the wind. 

M

Reading Patti Smith's M Train.
It's astonishing.

icy morning

Checked messages, nothing, I guess work is on.  I skidded carefully around the car. Scraped the ice off all the windows as I blasted the defroster. Rain turned to ice on every surface. I set out for work. Tapped the brake as I approached a busy street and the car slid to the right. I steered over and drove up onto someone's lawn. Almost went home then, but persevered. Made it to work. Found a message from my boss: don't come to work, stay home, roads are treacherous. 

Snow in March

It snowed. I shoveled.
The sun came out. It melted.
Daffodils budding.

Robust

The new business buzzword. I hear it all the time from managers. It's power and profit. Robust. It's a desirable state. A way of being. A good way. All my life I've tried to be less robust, and now it's a good thing.

Tr*mp

He Who We Shall Not Look Upon ~ because we are So Tired of seeing that straw-topped orangeosity

roomful of people

at a planning meeting. Raffle at the end: 2 prizes: 2 T-shirts. One rainbow tie-dyed, The Bernie! The other was camo: The Fascist Republican Candidate.

The trivia question, raise your hand- ready, set, go! Name three internationally-famous bicyclists who will be coming to our fundraiser.

Roomful of people. One person raised his hand. Just one. He looked around at the rest of us as he quickly rattled off three names. You win! He chose the Bernie. They gave him both. 

found it!

Lost and found.

Here it is! From an excellent article in Sedona Journal, author Robert Shapiro. I took the photo on top of Bradbury Mountain.

forgetting

so if you forget what you went to the kitchen to fetch, or 


forget your cousin's name; it's all good. You're just doing a 



bit of dimension-hopping right now.

Forget your past, clear the way for new information. 

Forget your stories of woe and approach everyone and 



every situation with equanimity, 

hope, love, and joy.

Celebrate forgetting!

( I feel like I wrote this post a few days ago. Can't find it. Did 


I write it and forget to hit "publish?")

men at the bar

After the car appointment, and before the board meeting, I went for some Thai food. The hostess seated me near the bathrooms, near two men sitting at the bar. I read my Buddhist magazine, but soon started to eavesdrop.

One man told the other the details of his day: important business deals he was considering, difficulties with his job, and how he'd just come from the courthouse. He talked about his family and personal challenges. He talked about his brother's medical, behavioral, and psychological problems; and medications the brother had taken. The man told how he'd just come from the courthouse, how he had to take out a restraining order on his brother.

I tried to focus on the magazine article, but the man spoke in a loud voice and the stories were compelling. I couldn't see the two men, but I had the impression that they'd just met. I noticed the other man didn't speak at all. Perhaps he was nodding.

Suddenly the speaking man lurched out of the restaurant. 

the garage

While the oil drained from my car, the mechanic worked on another car. Then he took that other car for a test drive, leaving me in charge. I was alone in the garage; in charge of the cash register, phone, cars, and walk-ins. I was thrilled.

No one walked in, the phone didn't ring, I didn't fix any cars, and he was back in 10 minutes.

But for that 10 minutes, I was in charge of the garage. It was sweet. 

Reiki, yoga, meditation

Meditation is a yogic practice. Meditation helps one become more mindful of thoughts, feelings, knowing, and sensations. Being more mindful helps one become aware of the gentle shifts associated with Reiki practice. Reiki is a philosophy and a spiritual path. Yoga is a philosophy and a spiritual path. Meditation is a yogic practice. 

Lend a hand to those who need it

"Get a job," the woman shouted to the homeless person. "Get to work! My taxes are paying for you."

Really? Please explain to me how my taxes help a homeless person. I'd be glad if they did.

I understand that some people who are homeless have problems that make it difficult to get and keep a job. I understand that some are lost, and may be able to change, but need a hand for a while. I understand that most of my taxes go to support health care and the military, not helping homeless people to make healthy changes. I understand that most health care dollars are spent on extremely expensive care that supports a relatively small proportion of people at the very end of life.

I'm willing to use my tax dollars to help people who need help. I'd ask the very wealthy to do the same. Perhaps we could share the wealth. Perhaps we could cut back on some of the very expensive machinery used in war and health care. I'd like my tax dollars to support people, a healthy Earth, and education. 

Leap Day

Take a leap. So I did. I did something kind of scary.

I climbed a mountain. Got there early, just one other car in the parking lot. We've been having warm days, and I wanted to hike on frozen ground, not mud.

I took the short steep path up and the long gradual one out. It was the long one that was scary. I hadn't seen another person at all. As I walked I scared myself, thinking of attackers, rattlesnakes, and bears. Of course, we don't have rattlesnakes in Maine, so that was a slimmer possibility.

Like I said, it was the easy path and eventually I met moms and toddlers coming up. Toddlers? I guess I'm not the athlete I like to imagine I am. Then an elderly couple, with matching walking sticks and a chemical aroma of dryer sheets. They didn't attack me with their sticks.

I did see two woodpeckers. No bears.

books on tape

A woman I know is having good luck with Anthony Bourdain's Parts Unknown. I tried books on tape for my insomnia, but I fought sleep, trying to follow the story. And the next night I had trouble finding the spot in the story where my consciousness left off.

So novels are out.

I tried public radio. Those announcers usually drone on quite nicely. But I woke too often to horrible stories of war and violence. Non, merci, public radio.

Now I hit Play on a meditation CD when I can't sleep. Have a couple of them, and switch them out every few weeks. Breathe, relax, aum, go down a stair case, see the colors...

I don't know for sure what they say because they work great and I fall right to sleep. 

equanimity

older, wiser; life is easier, more even. 

Reiki Nurse!

It's here, yes! Reiki Nurse 2016

Amazon is being difficult; "Temporarily out of stock." I tried to order a copy from them weeks ago and my order just sits there.

It's available from the publisher, Booklocker and from Barnes & Noble. There's some new information, but mostly I fixed some errors and clarified some things. I worked on it last summer, and kept going back this fall to make more adjustments. I like to write. It's done, it's here. 

Being an introvert

Some days it feels like there's a fine line between introversion and autism. 

Insight

Health is the expansion of consciousness, or insight, according to nurse theorist Margaret Newman.

"Insight and love, they are the same. Insight brings love, and love is not possible without insight..." Thich Nhat Hanh.

Insight, understanding, health, love; they are the same. 

Reiki class

was in a bright yellow house in the Maine woods. Off the turnpike, down this road then that, curvy hilly roads past houses and churches, down a wrinkled dirt road, there.

The house was built in the 1770s. The living room ceiling was hand-hewn beams and 2-foot wide boards. Maybe 3; they were wide. The floors dipped. There were beautiful things everywhere. Lots of colored glass, plants, shells, and a sleepy cat. There were two horses wandering the fields outside: one white, one brown.

We had Reiki class. Some talking, some hands-on, some breaks for tea and brownies. The sun came out and it was 50 degrees, so we did Reiju outside at the picnic table.

One lady said she saw a white spot on my left shoulder. "That's my guide," I told her. My angel is above, and my grandmother is on my right shoulder.

They felt tingling and pulsations in their hands.

I wore a grey dress with grey tights and socks. I felt like a little Quaker lady teaching my Quaker Reiki: plain and simple. Just plain Reiki.